some days i feel so ready to come be with you, the fight to remain on this hell hole of a planet with so little reason to do so gets incredibly challenging. I hate life pie, and yeah, i'd hate it if you were still here but you at least gave it meaning, gave me a reason and purpose, this halfway shit and little cunts of the same ilk waiting around every corner, i can't keep fighting it. I try to do the right thing, i try to be patient, understanding, helpful, and i just feel like people take advantage and hold me in no mind, no real consideration and i'm tired of it all....its just constantly reinforced and i somehow have to rise above it and not let it hurt me....and all i really want to do is proper lose my shit, proper go on a rage rampage, release all of it inside by fucking some people up...but i don't, i hold it down and carry on, scared to let the rage rise. This is all too hard pie, way too hard.....i really don't want to do it anymore....i miss you......i love you xxxx