One of those nights I’m struggling to get through. I just remembered when you packed Evie’s bib for Dam. And it was the most comforting, considerate and thoughtful thing. You were worried I’d miss her so much that I wouldn’t be able to have fun. It’s mad to think you didn’t know I’d miss you so much that I’d never be able to fully have fun or laugh or smile or be whole again. It’s mad to think I’m now missing you both with the pieces of my heart I got left. But I can never be happy or whole again Né. That opportunity went with you I swear. What do I do now seriously? What do I do? What the fuck do I do now? I still have that bib. And I’ll lay it out sometimes pretending you’ve put it there. It’s so sad and I wish you knew what this has done to me, and everyone else... How loved you were... You were hurting but I swear I woulda done anything to help. I’d be there even to this day like I said I would be. I needed time to grow up. I needed time to find myself. I’m so sorry man. I’m so sorry I couldn’t understand the pressure and pain you were suffering under back then. I miss you so much and even more so the longer the time gap since I saw you last gets. It’s a never ending nightmare one thing after the other. Everything’s obliterated and I’m not sure how I rebuild. Not sure how I get back. Be with me sis. God I need your voice. Your hugs. Damn Né.